Things I Want To Say To The People Sitting Two Tables Down

To Go Cup
Originally uploaded by SpooSpa.

* You're too loud. I don't need to know about your frat parties, how drunk you're going to get, your friend's golf tournament, your roommate Honor, or your friend on scholarship and how he's going through some trouble with inconsiderate roommates. It's college drama. Deal. And learn to deal QUIETLY. I don't need to hear everything you say.

*Also, I don't need to hear everything you eat. If I can hear you chew from 2 or 3 tables down, perhaps you should take a table etiquette and manners class. You know, just perhaps. In general, one closes the mouth whilst masticating, and one does not talk with his or her mouth full. I'm just saying.

Just. Shut. Up

For the love of all that is good and pure, will someone just WAKE HIM UP? September is over, has been over for months. He missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, Boxing Day, New Years, MLK Day, and is about to miss Valentines. But most of all, wake him up so I can STOP hearing his voice on my stupid radio.



Shut up, Green Day.


*In other news, I'm taking 3 classes and just got a job as a waitress at the airport restaurant. Yeah. I'm that rad.

People Please!

I was just reading over at the Starbucks Gossip blog, and they had a discussion about celebrity sightings at Starbucks. Apparently, someone wanted to see if he or she could bump into a certain celebrity-- Tom Cavanaugh?-- and asked which Starbucks he'd gone to. And someone replied, in all sincerity, "I heard he goes to the one in New York City."

What? Come on. Use your head!

I Eat Pithy Saying Cookies

I used to eat fortune cookies.


Apparently, the people who I'm sure are being payed to write the fortunes have slipped. Or just don't know the difference between a pithy saying, or a proverb if you will, and a fortune. Is anyone else a little frustrated by this? I mean, I know I can be indignant about the stupidest things, and I'm sure this is one of them. But. Don't call it a fortune cookie unless it's ACTUALLY a fortune! My family and I went out for Chinese last night. Out of 4 cookies, ONE was an actual fortune. The other 3?

1. The view only changes for the leading dog. (I think we're supposed to feel inspired, maybe? To do better?)

2.Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it. (Thanks virtue police!)

3. Price is what you pay. Value is what you get. (Seriously, these last two? DEFINITIONS.)

Speaking of definitions, if you're not sure what a fortune is, people who write these things, look it up! (Def. 4b).

Truth in advertising people. Either ship up, or change the name to "Pithy Saying Cookies." I'll feel a lot better. Either way, we're still going to play the "in bed" game. I'm just saying.

Rant-ish

An online quiz just told me that I have a beautiful soul. So, shut up Jesse "Is that Aaron Carter?" McCartney with your unwelcome influence over my beloved online quiz time wasters. And shut up for making me automatically think of your song when I read that. And shut up Aaron Carter, just for good measure.

This is in no way intended to offend fans of Jesse McCartney, Aaron Carter, or that song. I just...CAN'T.