11.08.2005

I Wear Too Many Masks

And I'm taking a couple off right now.

1. I call myself a political Independent, but I'm probably more Democrat than Republican. I'm more liberal than conservative. Sorry folks.

2. I'm not in a Southern Baptist church because my beliefs and theirs coincide the most. I'm in that church because I like that church and believe that God has something for me to do there right now (the college ministry). I might be a Presbyterian. I might be non-denominational. I'm probably emergent. I'm at least evangelical, not fundamentalist.

So, there you go. It is what it is. I was talking to Heather B. last night about this stuff and a bunch of other stuff as well, and I told her that 16, even 18 year old me would be AGHAST at what I just said. It's kinda funny to imagine a conversation between 18 year old me and 23 year old me.

18- Wait! I'm, like, a Democrat? But, but I'm a Christian!
23- Yeah. AND more Democrat than Republican. Look, you don't believe that abortion is a-ok suddenly. It's more about social justice and fiscal stuff.
18- But...
23- *suddenly starts screwing with 18* You don't believe in a pretribulation rapture anymore either. AND you're not dispensationalist, not that you know what that means yet.
18- What? People don't believe in a pretribulation rapture?
23- Yep. 'Specially YOU!
18- I don't...But that's wrong!
23- Oh yeah? Why?
18- Because it is!
23- *Laughs mischievously* You drink socially!
18- SHUT UP! I DO NOT!
23- You're going to see RENT the movie! It has gay people in it!
18- No!
23- Yep. And you have several gay and lesbian friends.
18- But. I mean, that's wrong.
23- Let me help you. You're about to say they're sinners.
18- Well. They are!
23- Yeah, they are. So're you. And your friends? Not saved yet. They're doing what they're supposed to be doing--sinning! And you, as a Christian? You sin a bunch still.
18- This is a lot to process.
23- Yeah. I know. Man, five years changes a lot. But, you'll be happy to know that you're still wicked awesome.
18- Well that's good. Hey, am I married?
23- No.
18- Oh, come on!
28- Well, you won't believe what happens after you're 23....

So that's what I envision a conversation with my 18 year old self to be like. It's pretty funny to me because man! I was an arrogant little something. And self-righteous. I was totally missing some of the stuff I was being taught (because this wasn't an indictment of how I grew up and the theology and doctrine I was taught). Think about, though. I mean, if we could meet ourselves at 18 or at 15 or whenever, what would we tell ourselves? Would we like ourselves? It's interesting.

3 comments:

ashleybeam said...

It is amazing how much we have all changed since then - for the better. I am glad I am not as fundamental and judgemental as I was 17. However, I am glad I was then. There was a lot more pressure and the fact that I was against it all kept me out of trouble. I wonder if in 5 more years I will think that 22 year old me was fundamental.

Staci said...

That's a good point I hadn't thought about, Ash. I'm sure I would have been in a lot of trouble back then if I hadn't have believed some of the things I did. But yeah, I'm glad I'm different now too.

Erynn said...

Like. . . Ross Perot? Also, dude, I would probably pimp slap 18 year-old me. Not because of anything in particular, but just because that would be FUNNY! And she'd be REAL confused.
P.s. I might not be Baptist either if I didn't want the CP to fund my future. ;)
And I bet 28 year old you is married, has published a couple of novels, and is now training to be an acrobat.