I Wear Too Many Masks

And I'm taking a couple off right now.

1. I call myself a political Independent, but I'm probably more Democrat than Republican. I'm more liberal than conservative. Sorry folks.

2. I'm not in a Southern Baptist church because my beliefs and theirs coincide the most. I'm in that church because I like that church and believe that God has something for me to do there right now (the college ministry). I might be a Presbyterian. I might be non-denominational. I'm probably emergent. I'm at least evangelical, not fundamentalist.

So, there you go. It is what it is. I was talking to Heather B. last night about this stuff and a bunch of other stuff as well, and I told her that 16, even 18 year old me would be AGHAST at what I just said. It's kinda funny to imagine a conversation between 18 year old me and 23 year old me.

18- Wait! I'm, like, a Democrat? But, but I'm a Christian!
23- Yeah. AND more Democrat than Republican. Look, you don't believe that abortion is a-ok suddenly. It's more about social justice and fiscal stuff.
18- But...
23- *suddenly starts screwing with 18* You don't believe in a pretribulation rapture anymore either. AND you're not dispensationalist, not that you know what that means yet.
18- What? People don't believe in a pretribulation rapture?
23- Yep. 'Specially YOU!
18- I don't...But that's wrong!
23- Oh yeah? Why?
18- Because it is!
23- *Laughs mischievously* You drink socially!
23- You're going to see RENT the movie! It has gay people in it!
18- No!
23- Yep. And you have several gay and lesbian friends.
18- But. I mean, that's wrong.
23- Let me help you. You're about to say they're sinners.
18- Well. They are!
23- Yeah, they are. So're you. And your friends? Not saved yet. They're doing what they're supposed to be doing--sinning! And you, as a Christian? You sin a bunch still.
18- This is a lot to process.
23- Yeah. I know. Man, five years changes a lot. But, you'll be happy to know that you're still wicked awesome.
18- Well that's good. Hey, am I married?
23- No.
18- Oh, come on!
28- Well, you won't believe what happens after you're 23....

So that's what I envision a conversation with my 18 year old self to be like. It's pretty funny to me because man! I was an arrogant little something. And self-righteous. I was totally missing some of the stuff I was being taught (because this wasn't an indictment of how I grew up and the theology and doctrine I was taught). Think about, though. I mean, if we could meet ourselves at 18 or at 15 or whenever, what would we tell ourselves? Would we like ourselves? It's interesting.


ashleybeam said...

It is amazing how much we have all changed since then - for the better. I am glad I am not as fundamental and judgemental as I was 17. However, I am glad I was then. There was a lot more pressure and the fact that I was against it all kept me out of trouble. I wonder if in 5 more years I will think that 22 year old me was fundamental.

Staci said...

That's a good point I hadn't thought about, Ash. I'm sure I would have been in a lot of trouble back then if I hadn't have believed some of the things I did. But yeah, I'm glad I'm different now too.

Erynn said...

Like. . . Ross Perot? Also, dude, I would probably pimp slap 18 year-old me. Not because of anything in particular, but just because that would be FUNNY! And she'd be REAL confused.
P.s. I might not be Baptist either if I didn't want the CP to fund my future. ;)
And I bet 28 year old you is married, has published a couple of novels, and is now training to be an acrobat.